only sometimes, i wonder what it’d feel like to live on the other side of fear. on the other side of restraint. on the other side of caution. what would it feel like to not think about the mess to be cleaned up or the tasks to get caught up or the screams to explain or the shape and folds of my body and the faces or the ways my heart makes visible the emotions that rise and fall and rise and grow and rise and expand til there’s no space or air left to do anything else but explode. what happens and who am i after boom goes the dynamite?
what’s life like after i give more than i thought i had? after i show more than i meant to? after i expose truths i didn’t know i had lied about? after i open the door to rooms i have yet to look at or inside myself? after light is shed on shadows i called monsters and left for dead? after i show what i was scared to see? what is left of treasures untold?
sometimes i wonder if i jumped in feet first just because you asked or if it was because I didn’t know how to breathe the air up there with you. i wonder if fear or faith kept me from drowning. did i even go deep enough? or did you stay with me, where i felt safe, because you were fine wading even if it wasn’t fair? sometimes i wonder if i let lil ol me get in the way of a big new us.
bloom + flow 
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